Roast Lab
How to Roast Like a Legend
Every time you fail in The Hustle Files, you get hit with a custom roast.
Why?
Because consequences should sting just enough to be funny.
Now it’s your turn.
Welcome to the Roast Lab — your crash course in crafting roasts that are clever, playful, and just the right amount of petty. (No actual bullying, chill.)
The OG Roast Formula
A good roast =
Observation + Exaggeration + Ridiculous Comparison
Roast Starters
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“You fumbled harder than your phone at 1% with no charger in sight.”
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“Autocorrect took one look and said ‘not my problem.’”
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“NASA called—they said you broke gravity and expectations.”
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“That was so bad, even your Bitmoji walked out.”
Wanna Level Up Your Roast?
A legendary roast =
Observation + Exaggeration + Ridiculous Comparison + One ACT/SAT word
How to Do It:
1. Start with a clear observation.
→ What went wrong? What’s the fail?
2. Crank up the drama.
→ Was it catastrophic? Cringe? A full-blown fiasco?
3. Add a ridiculous comparison.
→ Think sloths in gym class, pigeons in tuxedos, or anything else ridiculous.
4. Drop a vocab word like it belongs there.
→ Bonus points if it blends in without sounding like a spelling bee.
Wanna Follow an Example?
Fail:
You wore knockoff Crocs with socks...to prom.
Basic roast:
“Bold fit. Even your socks looked embarrassed.”
🔥 Leveled-up roast (with vocab):
“That was a tragic aesthetic choice--like auditioning for a runway show called 'Please Make It Stop' at a Met Gala no one asked for. Absolute catastrophe."
Vocab Words that Slap in Roasts
Catastrophic (total disaster)
Inept (completely unskilled)
Pretentious (trying way too hard to sound fancy)
Debacle (complete failure)
Melodramatic (extra, way over the top)
Lackluster (boring, meh)
